A few months ago a friend quipped, “After times like these people often find enlightenment.”
“Hm”, I thought.
Let me elaborate. ( This is where I lose the reader ) A couple of years back a cavalcade of not nice events started thundering into my immediate vicinity, their number and variety for once not my own screw ups but resembling a weather pattern known as the Bomb Cyclone. The type that lasts FAR TOO LONG.
Cliff Notes; Once upon a time a 30 year seasoned social worker walked into one of my situations and said, I quote, ” There’s nothing more you can do here. ” Well geez. THAT, my friends, is a flavor of only the beginning of a flurry of exciting adventures and mishaps involving all sorts of death and loss and relentless mayhem that has turned my life into an Oprah Winfrey special, or That Sad Sack You Read About on the Internet but Never Thought You’d BE. By year two, ‘Apocalyptic’ was the term coined by another lifelong grief counselor. That’s a fair word, but I kinda think of this madness as a black hole – start with one loss…then another… …hoooey there’s more? ….then they start bunching up and getting super dense and sucking in MORE people and situations at a faster and faster rate until THERE IS NOBODY LEFT.
Well **** that. You don’t need the bullet list of details, however at loss #2 I said to heck with fiscal shouldas, took the dead relative money and turned a dream into reality. Behold the enlightenment!
ASTRID! This gorgeous gal – whose name means ‘divine strength’ or ‘divine beauty’ – is an Alaskan Camper atop a one ton 4×4 truck with a utility bed conversion. She’s got solar. She’s got a sink. She’s got a stove AND an oven which means – yup, you guessed it – she can bake pie and we can eat pie ANYWHERE.
Instead of fantasizing about punching god in the face, when I’m not curled up in fetal position sobbing we’re gonna obsess over the fun to be had. There’s a world of baked goods out there and with this rig no pie can hide from us. Watch out! We. Are. On. Our. Way.
Uh-oh, another checklist!
Are we insane? YES
Do we have any more flying fucks left to give? NO
Are we behoven to pie nomming, nature glamping, road warrior stuff-of-legends glory? YES
While driving do we sing to Sirius’ ‘ Hair Nation’ at top volume? ABSOLUTELY YES
Committed to excellence,
Madison C & Mr. Hooligan